


Virgil’s Birthday 2019

by screamingatstars



Series: Sanders Sides Birthday Works [2]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders' Birthday, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Insecure Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Insecurity, Isolation, Light Angst, Logic | Logan Sanders Is A Good Friend, M/M, Self-Doubt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-19
Updated: 2019-12-19
Packaged: 2021-02-26 10:47:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21848443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/screamingatstars/pseuds/screamingatstars
Summary: Virgil is isolating himself on his birthday. Logan thinks he knows why.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Logic | Logan Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders
Series: Sanders Sides Birthday Works [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1574050
Comments: 2
Kudos: 150





	Virgil’s Birthday 2019

**Author's Note:**

> My fic for Virgil’s birthday! I love my dark strange son :)  
> I wrote this as sort of semi-connected to my previous fic for Logan’s birthday, but you really don’t need to read that one for this one at all  
> Happy birthday, Virgil!

Virgil wasn’t really expecting the fans to celebrate his birthday.

After all, he had been the bad guy for so long. The villain of their fairytale. And nobody ever loves the villain. At least, not unless they were a villain themselves. His own fascination with Disney villains definitely proved that point.

Virgil had long since accepted his fate. Even if the other Sides accepted him now, there was no real reason for the fans to.

Which was why he had decided to not even bother trying today.

He was sitting in his darkened room, a pair of noise-cancelling headphones over his ears and his hood pulled over his head. Resting on his lap was his open laptop, with Tumblr open in three tabs. Today was a day for endless, mind-numbing scrolling so he didn’t have to think about what day it was or what it meant. 

He was fine.

This was fine.

As he lay there, unmoving and unfeeling, he heard a soft pinging noise: an email notification. Someone had sent him an email.

The loneliness hit him all at once, a flood of misery he wasn’t prepared for. He nearly dropped his phone in his haste to open the email.

It was from Logan, of all Sides. Not who he had expected, but if his pounding heartbeat was anything to go by, it was definitely who he had wanted to hear from. He started reading, not even noticing his headphones slipping off.

_ Virgil: _

_ It is my understanding that today marks one year since you entered the Mindscape. As of the time I am writing this email, it is not actually one year, it is three hundred sixty-four days, fifteen hours, and twenty minutes, but as the saying goes, “who’s counting”.  _

Virgil had to pause in his reading to chuckle to himself. He could just imagine Logan sitting at his desk, typing out the words, counting the seconds as he did so. 

_ While we are by no means human, and therefore were never born, the fan base has declared this day to be your ‘birthday’. And it is my understanding that it is customary to express sentiment to those you care for on days such as these. _

It took Virgil a moment to extract the meaning from the sentence, but once he did his heart skipped a beat. Logan… cared for him? In what way, he couldn’t help but wonder- no, he couldn’t get his hopes up, get back on track. He’s being a good friend, that’s all.

_ I was originally planning to wish you a good day in person, but your self-imposed isolation prevented this. In fact… I have developed a hypothesis regarding said isolation, and I wanted to receive confirmation directly from the original source. However, due to the nature of the hypothesis and what if entails, I thought it would be more tactful to send a digital message instead of appearing physically. _

This definitely was taking a turn Virgil wasn’t expecting. A knot of tension was building in his chest as he read, his former numbness completely sloughing away. The mix of confusion and other, less identifiable emotions that took its place was not what he had thought he’d be feeling today, of all days.

_ Recently, my own ‘birthday’ occurred, just as yours is now. On that day, I was exhibiting similar symptoms to those you are now; namely, self-imposed isolation from the other Sides. You may have noticed this, but I would not be surprised if you had not. It is not unusual behavior for me, and I had told everyone I needed to work on finding things to repost.  _

He had noticed, actually: He had wanted to wish Logan a happy birthday, but hadn’t been able to find him anywhere. Even knocking didn’t get him anywhere, and he had eventually assumed that the logical Side was too consumed in his work to notice. 

_ In actuality, I was confused about why the fan base would have any interest in expressing appreciation for me, and wanted to investigate further without being interrupted. I couldn’t comprehend the idea that anyone could appreciate characters they thought were fictional. _

Now he felt like he should have known that something else was going on, that of course Logan wouldn’t think that the fans appreciated him. Logic didn’t allow for the kind of irrational goodness Thomas’s followers had.

_ But my hypothesis regards the reason for your isolation. While mine initially came from a confusion about our reality, I was also genuinely and deeply surprised to discover that the outpouring of love was directed at me because they genuinely cared. It was… unexpected, to say the least, for me. Your self-image, as far as I can tell, is in even worse condition than mine. This, combined with your past history of self-deprecation and tendency for cognitive distortions, leads me to believe that you are struggling with acute self-doubt and insecurity currently, and that is the motivation behind your retreat today.  _

Logan had figured him out. He knew what was going on, what Virgil was doing.

He couldn’t move. Could barely breathe. The thought of Logan knowing why he was hiding, the idea that he was even calling it  _ hiding?  _ He shuddered. There was no way he could come out of his room now; he had to wait until at least tomorrow afternoon. He could justify sleeping in on a Friday morning, right?

He realized then that he should probably finish reading the entire email.

_ This is, of course, understandable, as you are the embodiment of anxiety, as well as so much more. I have no desire or plans to disclose my hypothesis to the others, and do not require a confirmation of its validity (though one would be much appreciated, if you are in an appropriate headspace to share). And, if you need any consolation or support of any kind today, Virgil, I am more than willing to provide it. I intentionally sent you an email as opposed to visiting you directly, in order to give you the choice of company or not. If assistance is not needed, or not wanted, then I will not disturb you. _

_ But should you ever need me, Virgil, I am always here for you. _

_ -Logan _

...Virgil didn’t know what to feel. He had never imagined Logan to be this insightful, this intuitive. And he’d never expected Logan to offer him his company,  _ should he ever need him.  _ The thought of taking Logan up on his offer, to possibly open up to someone about all his stupid insecurities? Especially Logan? His heart was beating way too fast at every part of that idea to be normal. 

But maybe that was okay.

He set aside his headphones, his laptop, his phone. He stood up and stretched, moving for the first time in hours. Maybe some company would be nice, after all.

And here he had thought Logan was going to expose all his weaknesses, to judge him for his emotions. He smiled to himself as he walked through the doorway, turning towards the blue door down the hall. He could practically hear Logan’s voice from their debate now, the memory reminding him just how much he wanted to hear that voice again now:

_ You jumped to a conclusion. _

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> This was meant to take like ten minutes to write and be a couple hundred words... instead I wrote it over a three-week period and it’s over 1k. This seems to be happening a lot lately


End file.
